It's a women's world, at least here in our Short Jokes For Women Category!

My boyfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate.
Now I have two boyfriends.
How many "friendzoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
My husband asked why I never blink during se*.
I told him I didn’t have time to.
Where does a mansplainer get his water?
From a well, actually.
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
My ex husband went to a colonoscopy the other day.
Good news: They found his head!
My wife left me because she thinks I'm too insecure...
No, wait, she's back. She was just making a cup of tea.
Why do women take baths to relax?
Because it's too hard to drink wine in the shower.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
My husband said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back..."
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine - I only get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
“Gravity is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age”
Love is blind.
Marrying a man, on the other hand, is a real eye opener.
How come it’s so hard to make a fool out of a man?
Because most of them are the DIY type in that way.
How do you get a man to have the best orgasm possible?
Who cares?
You might as well go for a younger guy. Why?
They never mature anyway.
What’s the definition of a perpetual bachelor?
A man who’s missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.
If February is Black History Month and March is Women’s History Month, what happens the rest of the year?
Discrimination.
Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They really are too damn proud to stop and ask for directions.
Why shouldn’t you trust a guy who claims he “wears the pants”?
He probably lies about other stuff too.
What kind of man can you actually change?
The ones still in diapers.
What do you call a man who’s lost 95 percent of his intelligence?
Divorced.
Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.
How is a man like a gun?
Keep one around long enough, and you’ll definitely want to shoot him.
What’s the difference between a knife and an argumentative man?
A knife has a point.
How are splinters better than a man?
Splinters are a pain, but they go away eventually.
What do a balloon and a man have in common?
One prick pretty much ruins them.
What’s the best way to find a truly committed man?
Visit the closest mental hospital.