Injured

What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What do you call Batman when he is injured?
Bruised Wayne.
Woo Woo!
Woo Woo! A newbee hunter asked a experienced old hunter how to hunt bears. The old man answered:" It is easy, my son. I've hunted hundreds of bears in my life. You just need to grab your gun and take a ride to some mountains nearby. First, find a cave or stone cavern that might shelter a bear. Second, make some 'Woo! Woo!' sound so that the bear inside would mistake it as a signal of its companion. It should also make the same sound back at you. After it comes out, you just pull the trigger. Easy, right?" The newbee nodded and exited without coming back for months. After a long time, the old hunter saw that newbee on a street and found him crippled, with an ear lost and an eye blind. He asked him what happened. The newbee says: "I did as what you told me before. But god darn it, when something inside that cavern answered my 'Woo! Woo!', I didn't expect a train would come out and hit me!"
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
The Mayoral Solution
The Mayoral Solution A large sinkhole opens up on a remote town. An alarming number of people fall into it and injure themselves and it's difficult to get them all to the small hospital they have. The mayor gathers the city council to figure out a solution. The smartest city councilor suggests they park an ambulance next to the hole to get people to the hospital faster. The rest unanimously agree. However, they only have 2 ambulances and they're needed more in the center of the town to get there quickly. So the mayor gathers the council a second time. The second smartest councilor suggests they close the road between the hole and the hospital so the ambulance can ferry people faster. Everyone nods in deep wisdom. Alas, after a few days it's obviously not really doing much and it just creates more accidents with too many cars on the smaller roads. Finally they gather for a third time to take drastic measures. The third smartest councilor says they need to tear down the hospital and rebuild it next to the hole. Finally the mayor can't take it anymore. He slams his fist on the table and yells: "You idiots! Do you know how much moving the hospital will cost?! There's an obvious and easy solution to this problem! We fill in the hole and then we dig a new one next to the hospital!"
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