Penguin

What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
The Bear and His Freezer
The Bear and His Freezer A polar bear carries a large freezer into an ice factory. On his way inside, he's stopped by a penguin wearing a tie and a name tag and carrying a clipboard. "Why are you bringing a freezer into an ice factory??" The penguin asked. "I'm a new hire," the polar bear replied, "I brought it with me because back home it freezes EVERYTHING. I thought it'd help me do my new job better." "Oh....Oh!" The penguin says, "I get it. I think there must be a misunderstanding. You brought it to 'make' the ice but it's your job to 'BREAK' the ice." "Oh." Said the Polar Bear. Then after a small pause he says, "So, why did the polar bear carry a freezer into the ice factory?"