Stick

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What Reincarnation is All About
What Reincarnation is All About A soldier is reading a book while off duty when he sees his sergeant coming. Everyone hated sergeant Thompson, he always had a big stick up his bum. "Private." "Sergeant Thompson, Sir!" the soldier said, standing up smartly. "At ease." The soldier gladly returned to his book... until he realized the sergeant is still standing over him, staring at the cover. "Yes, Sarge?" "What's that rubbish you're reading there, private? Re..incar..nation? What's that all about?" "Well," smiles the soldier, "It's pretty simple sir. Say you died, God forbid, and we buried you. Then a few months later grass grew on that plot of land. Then a cow came and ate that grass. As nature dictates, a few hours later it passes it through its stomachs and dumps it out on the ground... Then I would walk by and say: "Hey Sarge, you haven't changed a bit!""
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
Whats Does the Catholic Church have in common with McDonald's?
They both stick their meat in ten year old buns.
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Are you from pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania.
Roses are red. Nuts are round. Skirts go up. Panties go down. Belly to belly. Skin to skin. When it's stiff, stick it in. se*, drugs, rock & roll; speed, weed, & birth control. Life's a bitch and then you die, so f**k the world and lets get high.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Why do travel nurses and boxers get along?
They know how to stick and move.