Stick Jokes

What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
I hear this house is haunted… we better stick together.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”

- Garry Shandling.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
What Reincarnation is All About A soldier is reading a book while off duty when he sees his sergeant coming. Everyone hated sergeant Thompson, he always had a big stick up his bum. "Private." "Sergeant Thompson, Sir!" the soldier said, standing up smartly. "At ease." The soldier gladly returned to his book... until he realized the sergeant is still standing over him, staring at the cover. "Yes, Sarge?" "What's that rubbish you're reading there, private? Re..incar..nation? What's that all about?" "Well," smiles the soldier, "It's pretty simple sir. Say you died, God forbid, and we buried you. Then a few months later grass grew on that plot of land. Then a cow came and ate that grass. As nature dictates, a few hours later it passes it through its stomachs and dumps it out on the ground... Then I would walk by and say: "Hey Sarge, you haven't changed a bit!""
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Life is better when we stick together.
I’m a hockey player; of course my stick is curved!
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
That Kenyan black smells wonderful! May I try it? Normally I stick to English Breakfast, but I’m always open to experimenting.
My dad always said, “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
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