Guard

What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How the Army Secures a Building
How the Army Secures a Building The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker among themselves is that they don’t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase “secure the building”. The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says
"No swimming without supervision."
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
Prisoner: "I’m sorry I tried to escape."
Guard: "I’m not mad, just… disappointed."

Remember, kids, never let your guard down.