I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.