These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
My mother's mother hit the jackpot at the BINGO!!!
She's a grammy winner!
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
Stuck on what to get your Mum for Mother's Day?
Get her a fridge and watch her face light up as she opens it.
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother?
Magma
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner?
Taco ma
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son.
Beehive!
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
My mother likes to tell people when I was little that I told her I loved her alphabet soup.
I didn’t, she just likes putting words in my mouth.
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
One of my mother's friends asked if she could be a surrogate
I guess she was just looking for a womb for rent.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall."
My wife showed me two of her mother’s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
I could borrow the step-stool from my mom, OR i could go buy something taller.
I prefer the ladder.
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
My mother asked me if my dog was good
I said “Yeah. And my hot dog isn’t bad either.”
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
Its hard being a teenage mother
Especially when you're a teenage male.
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India?
Mumbai
If your mom slaps you with high frequency -
It Hertz
What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?
"I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face.
Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day....
I hope they meat her expectations
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