What do you call a parallelogram that's also your parent's mother?
A parallelogramma
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face.
My mother-in-law dropped her iPhone in the toilet...
I told her, "there's a CRAP for that."
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
I could borrow the step-stool from my mom, OR i could go buy something taller.
I prefer the ladder.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall."
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
My mother's mother hit the jackpot at the BINGO!!!
She's a grammy winner!
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
My mother asked me if my dog was good
I said “Yeah. And my hot dog isn’t bad either.”
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?
I SAID NO-vember.
Son, your mother died. It happened when she choked on her dinner from laughing.
You could say I have a killer sense of humor.
I once pranked my mom and told her that I had lyme disease
I still had a few ticks up my sleeve
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
Momorial Day
Its hard being a teenage mother
Especially when you're a teenage male.
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
A mother mountain says to her moody teenage mountain “don’t you give me that altitude!!”
How can you tell if a tree is older than your mother?
It'll be covered in grandmoss.
My mom's sister once mistook Ritalin for aspirin...
It really upped the aunty!
Stuck on what to get your Mum for Mother's Day?
Get her a fridge and watch her face light up as she opens it.
My mom is a metalurgist
I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
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