Son, your mother died. It happened when she choked on her dinner from laughing.
You could say I have a killer sense of humor.
What did E.Ts mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?"
I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence
...and I got to keep mine.
My mother-in-law dropped her iPhone in the toilet...
I told her, "there's a CRAP for that."
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner?
Taco ma
Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
Theres always missing parent.
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
She's my aunt
I once pranked my mom and told her that I had lyme disease
I still had a few ticks up my sleeve
What do you call a parallelogram that's also your parent's mother?
A parallelogramma
One of my mother's friends asked if she could be a surrogate
I guess she was just looking for a womb for rent.
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India?
Mumbai
My mother's mother hit the jackpot at the BINGO!!!
She's a grammy winner!
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?
I SAID NO-vember.
How can you tell if a tree is older than your mother?
It'll be covered in grandmoss.
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
Stuck on what to get your Mum for Mother's Day?
Get her a fridge and watch her face light up as she opens it.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall."
Dad: “Son, your mother and I are thinking about moving to a square island.”
Son: “Wow really? Can I come too?”
Dad: “Four shore!”
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
My mother asked me if my dog was good
I said “Yeah. And my hot dog isn’t bad either.”
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
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