If your mom slaps you with high frequency -
It Hertz
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India?
Mumbai
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
What do you call a parallelogram that's also your parent's mother?
A parallelogramma
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner?
Taco ma
My mom is a metalurgist
I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
Its hard being a teenage mother
Especially when you're a teenage male.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall."
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?
"I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
Since it's Mothers Day weekend, I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a BIG SMILE on her face this morning...
Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day....
I hope they meat her expectations
One of my mother's friends asked if she could be a surrogate
I guess she was just looking for a womb for rent.
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother?
Magma
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
Momorial Day
At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it
I told her it’s so he can cut corners
Stuck on what to get your Mum for Mother's Day?
Get her a fridge and watch her face light up as she opens it.
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
She's my aunt
What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?
I SAID NO-vember.
My wife showed me two of her mother’s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
My mother asked me if my dog was good
I said “Yeah. And my hot dog isn’t bad either.”
My mother's mother hit the jackpot at the BINGO!!!
She's a grammy winner!
My mom's sister once mistook Ritalin for aspirin...
It really upped the aunty!
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
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