What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
"Aloe you vera much."
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
You make miso happy.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
We bee-long together.
I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
Your love will always be up to par.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
We are mint to be.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
"I wood never leaf you."
We make a great pear
I love you and I ain’t lion.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
I whale always love you.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
"I lava you."
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
I always have a ball with you.
when I’m with you.
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
"Yoda one for me."
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
I’ll always be running-back to you.
I always have a souper time with you.
Life without you would be un-bear-able.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Pugs and kisses.
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