Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
Irish I had better jokes.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
You’re my lucky charm.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
In Ireland, I call the shots.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
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