Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
Irish food is legen-dairy.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
You’re my lucky charm.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
In Ireland, I call the shots.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
I’m feelin’ green.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
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