The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Which monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Why would a real estate business never close down?
Since it’ll never be out of commission.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement,
Does that mean that the police have concrete evidence?
Go to BabaMail
