What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
I went to the hardware store and told the cashier I had to replace the plumbing for my sink. "Water pipes?" She asked.
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
You are shrimply the best!
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
Be careful what you say about those plates in the cabinet.
They're stacked.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
Why did the realtor buy his home right beside a porta-potty?
Because it was a leakfront property!
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
But I made Medium Rare.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
Who needs luck? I have charm.
I had some impure water so I boiled the hell out of it and collected the condensation...
Now it’s wholly water.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Don’t give into beer pressure.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
"You bake me crazy."
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
Go to BabaMail
