Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?
I SAID NO-vember.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
You feta have a gouda birthday.
I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry
Me: It’s a sacrifice to the dryer gods.
My dad: It’s a sockrifice.
What do you call a goat that’s lazy?
Billy Idle.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
How many saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I went to a wedding of two nuclear technicians.
The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
Go to BabaMail
