What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season? Fall.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
I started a job making plastic Dracula figurines but there’s only two of us in the production line.
I have to make every second Count.
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. “What’s wrong with me doc?” He asks.
“It’s easy, you're not eating properly.” the doctors replies.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
"Eggs love you."
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light. Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
The fact that we were asked to leave our beautiful purple color house by the owner is still purplexing for me.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
Why don't some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don't work out.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
Give papa a cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
What do you get when someone stares coldly at you?
Glare ice.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Go to BabaMail
