I only need a prescription for like half of my kitchen cabinets.
The rest are over the counter
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
If you're alone and get too cold, you might become ice-olated.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
“What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.”
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
It was mitten in the stars.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
She needed to makeup her mind!
I like New York, unique New York, I like unique New York.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
I would like to take a moment and thank my eyeballs.
Thanks for looking out for me.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Ever had real cane sugar?
It cannot be beet.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Go to BabaMail
