What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
“I love when candy canes are in mint condition.”
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Black background, brown background, black background, brown background, black background, brown background.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Go to sweep, dear.
Can I Alp you?
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
"I whip my hare back and forth."
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why did the artist use the bathroom? Because she was consta-painted.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Your love is like vodka. You’re worth the chase.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
Seas the day!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
Go to BabaMail
