I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
"You round me out." — High Card Band
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
On Father's Day, I thanked my dad for his contribution to my birth.
He said it was his pleasure.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
Life is way better in sandals, and that's one opinion that I will never flip-flop on.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
Life without you would be un-bear-able.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
"You bake me crazy."
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
More candles means a bigger wish!
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
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