What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
It's a nice night for a white rice fight.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
I wood never leaf you.
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business!
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
“A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
My bank is really proud of me.
According to them, I have an outstanding balance!
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
What does the witch do on her birthday?
She spellabrates.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Go to BabaMail
