What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
They say marriage is like a workshop. Where the man works and the women shops.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
Why couldn't the cowboy get down from his horse?
Because you can only get down from a goose.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Not all math puns are bad.
Just sum.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Go to BabaMail
