Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
Why don't mining towns have hospitals?
Because everyone there only ever suffers from minor injuries.
Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?
He substituted his wife for an ex.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I tried to change my password to "14days".
The computer said it was two week.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
I’ll always be running-back to you.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Go to BabaMail
