I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turned out she just wanted to do laundry.
So I folded.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Two candies had a beautiful wedding. They were truly mint to be
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to france from america?
"Son, we are now Europeants!"
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Don’t moss around.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
Many mumbling mice are making merry music in the moonlight.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
How many grammar cops does it take to change a light bulb?
Too.
What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he just didn't have an ear for music.
Go to BabaMail
