What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
My friend said that he eats more than his brother.
I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.
There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s hard to keep track of.
Kind of.. Kung Fusing
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Ignore your mother's bad joke, son...
It's a faux pa.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
When you’re alone in Germany being approached by a group of old men
You have to fear the wurst.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why was the parrot in prison? Because it was a jail-bird.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Who’s at the door?
It’s snowbody.
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
With a calendar, your days are numbered.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
You're my purr-son.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
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