How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It's down to its last quarter.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
Why can’t a tile walk very well?
He has square feet.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
What does a grape do with his grandchildren?
He is raisin them.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
I'm training to be an anesthetist, so I asked the head surgeon "Can I practice on my self first?"
He said "Sure, knock yourself out!"
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I had to work with two different hospitals for my Knee Surgery...
It was a joint venture.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Why did you act like that at Thanksgiving dinner? I yam what I yam.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
Beach you to it.
Go to BabaMail
