What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
I don't know where I put my queen after the last chess game.
Maybe she's lost I need to check.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
I have a serious love-heat relationship with summer.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Summer went swimmingly this year.
How do you make a million dollars in real estate?
You start out with two million.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Shell-abrate the good times!
"I whip my hare back and forth."
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
what do you need to have proper grammar?
a proper grampar.
My dad dumps expired peas down the drain. Then he looks at me and says:
“Hey, I peed in the sink”
Someone just stole some grass from my garden.
Strange I know, thought robbers stuck to their own turf.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I like your tight end
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
We've reached the point of snow return.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
How excited was the gardener about spring?
So excited he wet his plants.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
Go to BabaMail
