I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
How do knights communicate?
They use chain mail.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2b.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Every piece of you is sweet.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
I eat eel while you peel eel
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
"Have an eggs-tra special Easter day."
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
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