What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Where do restless travelers like to go?
To Rome.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Sip, sip, horray!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
Momorial Day
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
I like you sow much.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do you call an artist without a palette? Someone who makes paintings without taste.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Go to BabaMail
