What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo yo.
This ain't my first yo yo!
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
A man fell into a vat of varnish and died
He had a terrible end but a lovely finish.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
"Every bunny was kung fu fighting."
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
We've reached the point of snow return.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
Kids got me an Old-school Chemistry set for Father's Day...
... Totally in my Element.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Why did an agent decide to hide his realtor license?
Because he wanted to be a secret agent.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
I always have a souper time with you.
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