When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Say what you want about waiters, but I think they bring a lot to the table.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
I hope you have an absolutely fin-tastic day!
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
By the seat of one’s punt
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
A bit late but here goes anyway: what do you call the elf who checks Santa's grammar?
A subordinate claus!
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
Once a year, I take my family on a tour of various nuclear facilities.
While my kids like it, my wife says it’s just a power trip.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
“Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.”
"Eggs love you."
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What do you call a guy that has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
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