What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Snow thank you.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
I’m soy
into you.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
My dad and I saw this girl with a colorful backpack covered in pot leaves
He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Enough of the Corona virus jokes
We're all getting sick of them!
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
What do you call a knight made entirely out of china?
Sir Ramic.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
The best way to get back at someone is to push them in the snow; after all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
An ig is just a snow house without a loo!
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
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