What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Teaching babies to walk is hard, but you just have take it one step at a time.
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Hey shawty, it’s sherbert day.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
It’s the most wonderful time of the beer.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I'm looking to sell my DeLorean. Good shape, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
You are shrimply the best!
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I honestly cannot deal with puns.
But I can with a deck of cards.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
"Say you'll be wine."
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
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