Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Unfortunately, the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They just had no spark.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Did you hear about the dangerous alcoholic who consumed his booze from a sizzling Chinese frying pan?
He liked to drink risky on the woks
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
I tripped over a floor tile in the bathroom today. Got out alright, but it's safe to say...
I got floored.
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap
He was high on my list of priorities.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Prisoner: "I’m sorry I tried to escape."
Guard: "I’m not mad, just… disappointed."
Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Did you see the display of still-life art? It was not at all moving.
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
My mother likes to tell people when I was little that I told her I loved her alphabet soup.
I didn’t, she just likes putting words in my mouth.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
Turned down an opportunity to invest in a company making frosted glass balls. Couldn’t see any future in it.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Go to BabaMail
