When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
You mermake me happy.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
To the person who stole my glasses...
I will find you... I have good contacts!
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
I finally decided to sell my vacuum. It was just gathering dust.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
As my wife opened the cabinet, a coffee cup crashed on her head.
It's awful to see someone you love get mugged.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Go to BabaMail
