The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
Knife and a fork bottle and a cork
that is the way you spell New York.
Chicken in the car and the car can go,
that is the way you spell Chicago.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Tropic like it's hot.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
I’m so lepre-gone right now.
Snow joke, the weather is horrible today!
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms and no legs? Bob.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
Join us for plenty of play action.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
KID :"DAD, make me a sandwich."
DAD :"Poof, you're now a sandwich."
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Snow on and snow forth.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
It’s been a few years since the invisible man married the invisible woman.
Their kids are nothing to look at.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
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