What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
I went to my kid's school for an art exhibition
It was paper view.
What will a chinese grill use when a wok is too slow
A wun.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
Who do you call a pig who can paint like a great artist? Pablo PIGcaso.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.
This phenomenon is known as many paws.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
How did the real estate agent handle the rude client?
She showed her some manors.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
“A Whole Lot Of Love.”
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
A chicken goes into a library. He stands at the librarian's desk and says, "Buk," so she gives him a book. A couple of minutes later, the chicken returns. "Buk," he says, and she hands him another book. This goes on and on.
Finally, it is the librarian's break time. She goes out back to get some fresh air by the pond. That is when she sees the chicken and a frog on a lilypad. "Buk," says the chicken as he tosses a book to the frog. "Reddit," replies the frog...
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
My kids say my cooking is incredible...
with a silent 'cr'
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
Go to BabaMail
