Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
If you're attacked by a group of clowns...
Go for the juggler.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.
I said ether/ore.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Why do eggs hate jokes? Because they could crack up.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
Shamrocks and shenanigans for all!
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
Talk literary to me.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.
If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.
Are you a drum? Because my heart beats for you.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make.
“Look out for Santa Paws!”
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
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