What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What did the Cat burglar say when he was caught stealing from a French art museum?
I did it for the Monet.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
Why do people say "hit the showers"
What did the showers ever do to you?
If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What do you call spooky mascara
Mascarea.
What is a doctor's favorite element?
Healium.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
Fir sure.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
What do you call an East-European cosmetic?
Nail Polish.
I have a heart-on for you.
Go to BabaMail
