What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
To get to the other side.
Life is way better in sandals, and that's one opinion that I will never flip-flop on.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
Why is winter the least popular time of year for a wedding?
Because the grooms always get cold feet!
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
Did you hear about the nun who got into trouble for drinking communion wine from her convent's medieval goblet?
No, but it serves her rite.
Now that it's summer, we've got to seas the day!
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Summer is here, so I’m moving all of my bad habits outside.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Go to sweep, dear.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth theist.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Go to BabaMail
