There’s a big difference between yoga and pie-lattes.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
We are mint to be.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
Summer's over; it's time to chill.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
A round of Santa-plause, please.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital.
He was on a fairway to heaven.
Go to BabaMail
