Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Sip, sip, horray!
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
This vacation has been sand-sational!
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
The graphic designer's present company gave her a substantial raise while a rival company also gave a similar offer. I am now caught in hue minds!
Believe in your elf.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Prisoner: "I’m sorry I tried to escape."
Guard: "I’m not mad, just… disappointed."
Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?
Because cubes are platonic solids.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
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