What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
I used to get a nasty electric shock every time I touched something metallic. But thankfully I’m cured.
I’m ex-static!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Did you see that all the snow and ice are melting?
I thaw!
“Surely Sylvia swims!” shrieked Sammy surprised. “Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink.”
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Fall is coll-arding; it’s time to leave.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Go to BabaMail
