Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
I had four cans of alphabet soup.
Just had the largest vowel movement ever.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What did the angry artist say? Don't get me arted!
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
Round the rough and rugged rock the ragged rascal rudely ran.
A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in a frying pan?
Take away its tiny brooms
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Q. Why are orange jokes so dumb?
A. Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Go to BabaMail
