What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminium pan.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Some bunny loves you.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
“Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.”
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to school ?
Bison.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
In on the ground flora.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
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