I told you snow.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Did you hear the results of the game between the beach and the ocean?
It's tide.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
My Gourd, Autumn is so fall of herself!
You have your mother in law, father in law, son in law doughter in law but your wife is...
The law
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
You can tell the gender of an ant by putting it on top of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it doesn't, buoyant.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
"I've found some bunny to love."
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why do snowmen always get injured when playing sports?
Because they refuse to warm up!
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
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Water you doing, my friend?
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.