What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
My marriage is slowly turning into a melon farm. I keep hearing Honeydew this, Honeydew that.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Cooking a Hawaiian pizza and don't want to burn it?
Be sure to cook it at aloha temperature.
Which monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
Once a year, I take my family on a tour of various nuclear facilities.
While my kids like it, my wife says it’s just a power trip.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What does a real estate agent from Seychelles specialized in beachfront properties do?
She sells Seychelles by the seashore.
Rebel without a Claus.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
The artist shouldn't have taken that sculpture for granite, now it's stone-cold.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
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