Let’s list the froze and cons.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What is the invisible man's favorite shampoo?
Clear.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business!
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
What do football players wear on their heads? Helminth
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
He goes up to the bartender and says "A drink please and another for the road."
Why can't pencils move?
Because they are stationery.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
Does your sport shop stock short socks with spots?
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
Go to BabaMail
