What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
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