Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise!
I have a bone to pixie with you.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
My father ran his whole roofing business and it was a great success.
He had to stay on top of things though.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
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