What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Cutest clover in the patch.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
Which monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
I was cracking some lame fall puns when my friend commented, "Gosh, you are acorny person!"
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
"Just one hot chick."
The best part of astrology is reading your daily horror-scope.
"What did Frankenstein's monster say to his girlfriend?"
"Will you be my Valenstein?"
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
You octopi my thoughts.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
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