How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
What did the realtor reply when I asked if he liked reading real estate magazines?
"Yes, I love reading them but only periodically".
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
It takes one to snow one.
Why did Princess Leia lose all her friends and family?
She got involved with Alderaan people.
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
Why was the artist in an argument? She wanted to have the final clay.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Once upon a time I was accidentally made a priest.
It was a clerical error.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What did Santa name his dog? Santa Paws!
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
Fertilizer.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
He has a sinecure.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
Go to BabaMail
