Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter’s bitter.
If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better.
So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter,
put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better.
So ‘t was better Betty Botter bought some better butter.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
You snow the drill.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Let’s have a shamrockin’ good time tonight!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
I’m browsing the winter-net.
Go to BabaMail
