Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What’s the biggest danger of building a snow dog?
Frostbite!
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Burst into cheers!
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
I love a joke about the eyes.
The cornea the better.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
How did the cowboy greet the equestrian?
Howdy Neigh-bor.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
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