Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
How many Chinese folks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't change lightbulbs, then just dim sum.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
I ran into my sibling while exploring the Sahara Desert.
I yelled out, "Oasis!"
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Paddy like a rockstar.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What do you call an East-European cosmetic?
Nail Polish.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I’m rooting for you!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Go to BabaMail
