What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet? It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What do you call a large colorful pile of leaves?
The Great Barrier Leaf.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Its hard being a teenage mother
Especially when you're a teenage male.
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
Red wasn't feeling very well for the past few weeks. He has been diagnosed with scarlet fever.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
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