What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
Its hard being a teenage mother
Especially when you're a teenage male.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
You know you’re getting old when…there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
You better beer-live it!
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Don’t moss around.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
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